Surfing Emotions with Mindfulness

Surfing Emotions with Mindfulness

Today we are going to have a SURFING LESSON! An important skill in Mindful Relationships and Mindful Communications is learning the practice of surfing emotions with mindfulness! This will allow us to respond to situations and in communications in a more balanced, self-aware way.

And we can learn to surf in 10 simple steps:

1. Recognise that emotions are a fact of life – sometimes we feel happy, sometimes we feel sad (and all the feelings in between)
2. Remember that emotions diminish over time – they come and go and are not a permanent state
3. Acknowledge – throughout the day tune in to how you are feeling, acknowledge to yourself “I feel angry”; “I feel relaxed”; “I feel happy”; “I feel disappointment”
4. Do not judge them – when you bring your awareness to how you are feeling try not to judge it as “good” or “bad”. It is what it is
5. Accept – learn to accept how you are feeling in this moment – this does not mean that you do nothing about a challenging situation – but in the moment you feel what you feel
6. Allow – Give the emotion space – I love this quote from one of my teachers “FEELING IS HEALING” – allow yourself to feel what you feel, for a moment allow what is there to be there
7. Notice physical sensations – As you observe and allow the emotion, see if you can get a sense of where you feel it in the body – often we feel emotions along the central nervous system – in the belly, the chest and heart area, the throat or the face. Draw your attention to where you feel the emotion in the body
8. Become curious – a key part of our mindfulness practise is “open curiosity”. This does not mean that we are trying to analyse, judge or fix our emotion – rather a gentle exploration. A curious “I wonder where this is coming from?”
9. Be kind – when you are bringing awareness to what you are feeling in the moment, also bring awareness to your thoughts – are they fuelling the emotion from a place of ego or the inner-critic? Or are they supportive, soothing and caring?
10. Be mindful of your thoughts – There is an interplay between our thoughts and emotions that can be destructive for ourselves and our relationships. Becoming aware of this relationship – bringing awareness to those unhelpful thoughts that fuel our emotions, causing us more suffering – is key to our mindfulness practise and also Mindful Relationships.

Mindfulness Challenge:

Throughout today try to regularly check in with yourself – how are you feeling in this moment? Learn to surf!

More on Thoughts and Emotions

In this 3-minute Youtube video I explain further the practice of surfing emotions with mindfulness and in particular how important this skill is for relationships.